by Shannon Seek on August 19, 2010
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If I knew why, I would not be asking
Why so cold? Why so hurt?
What is happening?
My Soul searching treasure trove.
A personality on a wild ride.
In plain sight, disappearing before all eyes.
It is subzero,
the need to hide is dear.
Freezing, frozen.
Pushing away.
Feeling raw. Not seeing the light of day.
Are you near?
Denial is my dearest friend when
I am so alone.
Those who love my kind know,
I say goodbye first, if I think you will go.
In these moments, I am not so old.
Stay close. Mind me. I am being cold.
My heart is tender from the recent weather.
And, aching to thaw.
The chill is a lie.
Keeps me from feeling at all.
When I am in the middle, straddled like a pon.
I am done playing. I am gone.
So, being cold, is how I scream silently.
Praying for a team.
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by Shannon Seek on August 15, 2010
The Dark follows illumination
Allowing my pupils to adjust
The panic of the brightness gone
My heart tender to touch
Shouting loudly, I am scared
Watching nothing, I am dared
Clarity was ours, until it is gone
Relationship a wicked salve
The barbs of betrayal
Stemming from fear
Keep me in this lonely cage
Now, only darkest before the dawn.
The hate I feel for the lack of trust
To release this is a must.
I am sane. I am well. I did my best to save
you from hell.
Now, the enemy, I stand.
To mourn our glory amounting to sand.
Glasses I saw you thru
I thought were sure
My love was unconditional and pure
How it happened so fast
I need not explain
It has ended in grief and pain.
Or has it? It is just a turning point, where we learn about each other?
How does one know when to let go?
Let God.
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by Shannon Seek on September 13, 2009
When I was in High School I smiled a lot. Looking in old yearbooks, I don’t think there is a picture of me without some sort of smile on my face.
Great things happened to me on a regular basis at that time of my life, too. People would sometimes comment on what a charmed existence I had. Given my difficult personal circumstances and family life, the super neat opportunities I had reflected this.
While there was much time focused on the positive in those days, there was also a bunch of buried negatives that I kept under wraps the best I could. Eventually this would all catch up with me in my late thirties, just as everything appeared to be going better than ever.
This propelled a 3.5 year period of some of the greatest trials I’ve ever been through, including breast cancer. At some point one may need to face one’s “demons” and the things that that big smile in highschool used to cover.
I remember a friend asking me, “Are you really this happy all the time?” The answer was no then, but the smile made me feel better.
Is there ever a time to fully embrace the negative? How do we heal the negativity in our lives without at least acknowledging and feeling it?
Ultimately, what you let fester, attracts that which pesters. The universe has this weird little way of showing you the negativity you are holding in your personal space.
Last year, in the middle of breast cancer treatment, I decided to allow all anger, rage and resentment to be seen in my meditations and personal writing. Today, I say good bye.
This is not to say that I won’t share part of my journey or ever have a negative feeling again, but what I am saying is I refuse to give in to the thoughts that continue to create more of it.
As I lay in bed this morning, quietly reflecting on my dreams of the night before, I realize that that teenager who knew to smile in the face of adversity was on to something. She was a survivor and she knew that a smile is irresistable, even to herself.
My heart knows that if I am 99% of the way there to being healed, it is okay to start smiling all the time again. It is now officially safe to let the happy girl inside out.
After years of many hardships, despite much success, it is time to live freely. I have seen miracles happen again and again in my life. And, I am done living in fear of the pestering events that get my attention to heal something.
How about living in anticipation of all of the good things coming my way? What would your life be like, right now, if you just took one negative and turned it into a positive?
Believe it or not, I got my shift this morning thinking about my student loans. Then, it hit me. Wow, I can’t wait to meet the client whose business coming my way helps me to pay off those.
Think about it. Think about any one thing that you may have found worrisome. Allow a magical moment of miracle energy to come to mind for the solution. Feel the pleasure of having the problem solved. And, smile.
What is it like to smile about the solution? How does it shift your heart?
With Love,
Shannon Seek
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by Shannon Seek on July 26, 2009
“So, go on” I said to myself, replacing the shrink in my head with me.
Holographic reality in a moment of pure bliss, where standing in the center of myself feels so divine. The Light shines upon me and I can stand it like a good teacher would.
As I allow the bliss of my surrender to the Light that feeds my heart, my lungs, my soul, I imagine La Mer–the saline of all that exists in one flesh. Structure embraces me. I feel Union.
I See my nature defined by the light that casts a true shadow, an outline of myself as I may be seen on certain planes of existence. In the moment of the shining sun, the shadow is literal, yet is like a moving target with each breath.
Each breath creates a new moment, a “now future.” Knowing this, shall I pause and reflect anyway?
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by Shannon Seek on April 29, 2009
The speed with which I can organize a room, or work flow depends on the plan.
Sometimes I have to go back to the major goals.
Starting with how I want to *feel* literally, in that exact square foot!
This is an interesting way to look at a space. Suddenly, it takes on a numerical value. For some of us, having a number to compare things to, makes the whole process of deciding a lot easier.
This week, I am addressing the speed connection I have running around the internet. I am going to be looking at ways to test the speed. And, I will let you know what I find.
In the meantime, I am reordering the media room for better chi and easier management of speed (internet and media).
Wish me luck! Lucky kinetics. Lucky telekinetics. Lucky omkinetics. My passion is in here somewhere.
With a little luck, & a lot of honesty about how I will choose to use the space…I may hit a new high on how to feel good in my officehaus (where I live and work!).
To loving life. & the speed of life.
What does this have to do with moving furniture? Or, creating flow in my space (inside, outside, internet)…I am a huge twitter fan…I want to keep tweeting! (http://www.twitter.com/shannonseek)
Well…As I move the “chi” “ki” or energy in my house, I can see my ability to take in information shifts. As I face the decisions I need to make to get the space supportive of nurturing, digestion (ideas & nutrients) & living my passion.
This is at the very root of my success. My ability to stop, and check in with my passion and calling. The energy I have increases. Passion is calling. I move forward regardless of what the circumstances appear to be in my life.
What is the speed of your passion? Does the path you follow allow for you to slow down, check in and see what it is you are truly making manifest in your life?
Are you happy thinking about it? When you feel happy thinking about it, you will be in your gratitude. And, the speed you need, will be matched with your passion. Things will just joyfully unfold, flow, & be easy to embrace.
Whatever comes your way, will be part of the process and the speed of your passion. You will trust more easily.
What will it be like when you trust the speed of your process?
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